zondag 25 januari 2009

Day 2

Another day went by. Quickly as it seemed, cause I kinda slept alot today. So there's not much to tell. Just I miss my best friend. His name is Ben. I don't know him for that long actually. But we have like so much in common, we understand each other perfectly.

You know that feeling when you just met someone and you start talking to them, that it seems like you have known them your whole life? It's amazing when you can get that kind of connection with someone.

My ex girl, who's also my best friend, told me that if I were straight, or he was girl, that we would be together. And when you think about it, on one hand you'll be like yeah actually she's right. But on the other hand, the experience that I had with her, makes me think hell no.

Why risk a friendship over a relationship? Only when you know that your friendship is worth more and is much stronger, you can risk it. Cause good friends come rare you know. If you really have good friends that are always there for you, you should cherish them.

Cause living life without them, is useless. I know that when I reach rock bottom, my best friend will be there. When times get hard, he will be there. And we can talk about anything. It's almost like our lives are running the same.

And it's crazy, it's strange. It's rare and I love him for that. And he deserves the greatest girl on earth there is. Cause he is kinda of sensitive guy. But we have our own kind of fun. And lately I don't see him that often.

And I miss it. I miss him, our times, our conversations. Life is just life I guess. Patience gets rewarded you know!!!!

Signing off...

zaterdag 24 januari 2009

Day 1

Blogs are like a diary. You just express your feelings. Only this diary is public. Everybody gets a chance to get to know who you are. What intrigues you. They get a little light about the person that you are. What experiences you've been through or will have, that made the person of today.

My life has always been messy, crazy, weird. If happiness came around, it didn't take that long before it was gone either. All the believes that you have, all the dreams you have, some days you wake up and realize that they just mean nothing.

There are persons that means the world to me. And there are days that I just think that, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here anymore. So I thank them for it, every single day. It's easy to take things & friends for granted.

But I learned the hard way that you can't. I had a best friend. She was everything to me and more. From the very first day we met, I fell in love with her. One look and I knew she was gonna rule my world.

Love can ruin what you have. We were best friends for a very long time, till one day something came up. We became a couple. Some will think: what a stupid thing to do. Others will think different.

And maybe it was stupid, maybe it was the wrong timing for us. But I don't really care about it. She made me feel special, she made me feel alive. She made me a better person. She made me happy every single day.

Dispite our differences. Ofcourse we argued. Sure she made mistakes & yes she broke my heart. But my love for her is greater than that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever gonna find love again. But then again if you keep living in the past, there will never be a future ahead.

So there are days that I think about her and feel sad & blue. There are days that I don't care about it & that I just want her to be happy. Cause although we're not together anymore, she deserves to be happy. I deserve to be happy.

So recently I met this new girl. And for some strange reason, she can make me feel alive. I can open up to her & I'm not afraid to be myself with her. There's a bit of an age difference, which worries me a bit. But age ain't nothing but a number right?

I mean I can talk to her. And I feel relieved. I can smile again. But she's kinda closed. I don't know if she's afraid to let someone. Is it just a matter of time, cause we don't know each other that well.

I mean I just wanna get to know her. I wanna know what she's all about. Why she so dark? One thing is for sure. Girls we'll never understand. So my question for today: Will I ever get my chance to get to know her?

Signing off....